I am proud Bluey parent. I will go out of my way to buy my kid Bluey stuff, and my husband and I own a couple of shirts. I will not accept judgement or shame. Genuinely, I will watch that show even when my kids aren’t in the room. It’s one of the first children’s shows in a long time that didn’t make me want to claw my eyes out or run screaming from the room. At least the first one that wasn’t exclusively on PBS, involving a cartoon tiger from a neighborhood that made my childhood safe, or something like that. It’s a genuinely funny show with heart and lessons for everyone, and it does not commit one of the cardinal sins in my book of being too preachy.
It’s vital that we have meaningful, quality shows for our kids to watch. It’s also important to acknowledge that sometimes when we feel like our parenting is lacking due to cartoon dogs or any other media self-reflection can help us see more clearly.
Lately, I’ve seen the anti-Bluey discourse floating around again, and once again I feel compelled to rise to the defense of cartoon dogs. It irked me enough that I immediately made a TikTok about it. So after you watch that TikTok (or not, that’s up to you) let’s get into it.
Boo Hoo the Heelers Are Better
That feels like an impossibly high standard.
How in the hell are we supposed to be those parents?
Usually the complaints I see boil down to the same things, and it’s primarily that the show makes them feel bad as parents. I’m going to get into why that’s not the fault of two cartoon dogs later. The other one I see is rarer, and that its setting bad examples for kids. Again, this is wrong, but we’ll get into that too. Let’s break these complaints down into the big three, shall we?
“My kids expect me to play like Bandit and Chili and that’s unrealistic”
I am starting here because I feel like this is the most understandable of the complaints. I get it. I am a frequently overstimulated mom with anxiety, depression, and a healthy dose of AuDHD. I work a full time job while trying to get a PhD, and we live in a nightmare timeline. It’s a challenge. Bandit Heeler is pretending to be Bingo’s Bad Mood, Chili is “driving” with Bluey, and things seem unreasonably creative and fun at the Heeler’s house. Plus, Bandit seems to be the universe’s fun dad, playing games with all the kids. That feels like an impossibly high standard.
How in the hell are we supposed to be those parents? There are days when we are just too damned tired to play. The idea of setting up some elaborate game to engage in pretend after a long day of the 9to5 seems like torture, especially when there is still dinner to make and housework left to do and homework to be done before massive deadlines hit. But there is a middle ground, and if you stick around, I’ll talk about it.
“The Heelers are perfect parents who never yell, hit, or punish their kids.”
I am going to try — keyword here being try — to be chill about this. I probably will fail. This isn’t a tricky subject. This isn’t a gray area like the first complaint. Not hitting your kids isn’t an impossible standard. This is not up for debate. Hitting kids is wrong. And spanking your kids is hitting them. Again, I will not debate you. I was spanked as a child, as were most kids in my generation. And it was wrong. Our parents fucked up. We may not like to admit it, and they may not either. But they should not have done that to us. And their parents should not have done that to them. So before we get into the yelling and punishment part of this conversation, let’s just say this. The Heelers not abusing their kids by hitting them is not an impossible standard that makes them perfect.
Now, the yelling and punishing thing, that’s a little different. Chili and Bandit do in fact yell sometimes, but when they do they make it right. See the episode “Fairies” for a prime example of what happens when Bandit hurts Bingo’s feelings by yelling at her. They aren’t perfect. Yelling is one of the things I struggle with myself. Genuinely, I find myself yelling far more that I would like. My family has always been “yellers.” But you can work on that. I certainly am. You do this by looking at your triggers, and finding the solutions to them. As for punishment — you need to understand that the science backs up those of us telling you not to punish you kids to change their behaviors. Punishment doesn’t work. Natural consequences can be negative, and they work. But punishment only makes you feel better. It’s for you, not them. And let’s be real, the Heeler kids are 6 years old and under. Punishing kids who don’t even have fully developed brains is going to do more harm than good.
“These kids are terrible influences who backtalk and get away with everything.”
Like I said, the Heeler kids are 6 years old and under; they are children! Of course they talk back. And the Heelers aren’t raising compliant children. You shouldn’t be raising compliant children either. The Heelers value their children’s personalities and autonomy, as good parents should. Children should be heard. They should stand up for themselves. Look at the episode “Yoga Ball” which is quite literally about Bingo speaking up for herself when Bandit plays too roughly. “Hairdressers” is another good one about kids finding their voices and listening to others.
And these kids are in fact facing consequences. They are learning responsibility for themselves. Take a look a “Verandah Santa,” Bluey is mean to her cousin to punish her for something she’s too little to understand. And Bandit and Chili show their daughter without shame or punishment, without yelling or hitting, that her actions were wrong and hurtful. The consequences of her behavior are on full display. Another good example is “Promises” which is all about understanding the importance of keeping your word and not taking advantage of others. Is the lesson taught in a conventional way? Not at all. But it’s there. And if we are talking about Muffin — well, that’s another post all together.
Addressing the Mess
Sometimes adults are wrong. Sometimes parents fuck up. And when that happens, our kids are allowed to point that out. Bandit and Chili aren’t raising compliant children, and you shouldn’t be either.
So let’s talk solving the problem. Seriously, if Bluey has you feeling some type of way about your parenting then maybe you need to address that. Because it’s not the cartoon dogs that are the problem. When a children’s TV show is making you feel like a bad parent, it’s time to look at your own parenting. So let’s get to it.
It’s Just 6 Minutes
I get it. The elaborate games the Heelers play are a lot. But if you think about it, an episode of Bluey is just six minutes long, not counting “The Sign,” which is honestly it’s own beautiful thing. So think in terms of playing for just six minutes. Kids have short attention spans, and generally they are just looking for a little connection with you. It doesn’t have to be the same level of elaborate pretend play that we see on Bluey, not by a long shot. But you can spare 6 minutes for your kiddos.
Focus on Your Parenting & Not the Heelers
If you are looking at how you parent and you aren’t happy, that is a you problem. If the way you handle your kids upsets you, then you need to address that. Bandit and Chili are not perfect parents. They are good examples of good parents who choose respectful and responsive parenting. They use an authoritative parenting style with their children, which is scientifically beneficial for child development. Trust me, I’ve done the research. My entire PhD dissertation is on this topic. If the way they parent makes you feel bad about the way you do it, then may you need to look at your choices.
I know I sound harsh. But I am a first generation responsive/gentle parent. I chose this because I was miserable as a mom. I didn’t like who I was as a parent, and I started to feel like I sounded too much like my own parents. I realized traditional parenting wasn’t working and that it wasn’t going to work. Because the science does not support it. I realized that I was damaging my relationships with my kids in ways that felt all too familiar. I was watching myself slowly become someone I didn’t like, someone my kids couldn’t see as a safe space. I looked at my parenting and said it was time to change. That is a choice you have to make.
Kids Are People Too
This is something I think people genuinely forget. Kids are people. They have their own thoughts and ideas; they have their own unique personalities. Most importantly, they are deserving of respect. And that is something that shines in Bluey. I’m going to do a whole post on that at some point. If you are worried that this show is teaching your kids the wrong lessons about disrespecting their parents, talking back, and speaking up, then you are wrong. I would say you’re entitled to your opinion, because you are, but your opinion is wrong. Kids need to test boundaries to understand them. Kids need to learn that they are worthy of respect or they will not be able to stand up for themselves. They need to feel safe calling out unfair treatment. They need to feel ok saying that something makes them uncomfortable, unsafe, or unhappy. They need to feel empowered to let people know when they hurt them. Sometimes adults are wrong. Sometimes parents fuck up. And when that happens, our kids are allowed to point that out. Bandit and Chili aren’t raising compliant children, and you shouldn’t be either.
Listen, I know I have ranted for 1600+ words about parenting and cartoon dogs, but I think this is important. It’s vital that we have meaningful, quality shows for our kids to watch. It’s also important to acknowledge that sometimes when we feel like our parenting is lacking due to cartoon dogs or any other media self-reflection can help us see more clearly. And truly, comparison really is the rogue stealing all your joy. So stop comparing yourself to the Heelers, or that couple you saw on Instagram or TikTok. It’s not helping you.
Magically Messy Motherhood 
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